Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
