I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
