I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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