Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
