Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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