i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
