I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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