In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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