I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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