My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
