I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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