Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
