So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We're not piercing ourselves today.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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