just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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