Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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