I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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