the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
