Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
