You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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