I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
