Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
