Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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