I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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