A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
