Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
