all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
