I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
