The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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