If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
