So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize