Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
