so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
