He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
