I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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