i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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