am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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