We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
