There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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