you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
In America we eat man semen.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you had me at cake vodka
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
