What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
