bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
