It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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