Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
