Please, let me fuck your mom
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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