I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
