Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
be right there i have to get my cape
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
