did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
