when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She needs sedatives and a leash
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
