The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
