ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
