Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize