a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
