he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
