I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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