Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The dick lei will go down in squad history
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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