I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Panties = found
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
