remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
