U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He has the fingertips of a God
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