her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
