she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
