nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
