is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
