I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
