I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
